I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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