I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
