i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
