I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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