The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
