You just made me feel so damn special
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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