I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize