I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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