Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
