She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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