I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
