Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
