So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
