And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
