You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
