The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
