there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize