i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
