we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
