Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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