she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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