it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
