He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
