Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
