toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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