I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
