i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
