Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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