I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
do herpes really smell.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
