dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
