remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
