I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
