Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
