Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
