I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
