bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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