In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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