Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
