I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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