You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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