and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize