Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
