Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
