..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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