there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
4 words: hood of his car
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
