I CAN MOONWALK!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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