I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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