five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
