those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize