Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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