You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
