Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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