she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize