Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
