The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The struggles of a small town man whore
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
