I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
