i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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