There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
