Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
