Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
FUCK WHALES
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
