Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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