her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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