apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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